“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
Alice Walker
CSA can seem impossible to stop, too sensitive to speak of, too fluid to get a grip on.
But the truth is you can do so much.
8 Ways To Flip The Script
The P. L. A. Y. L. I. S. T. Pledge
P – Pledge
The first step starts with You. To achieve this badge, sign up for the Playlist Pledge.
I Commit to doing my part, what I can, whatever that is for me. (This will make a world of difference.. see how below).
Learn
I will learn about child sexual abuse, through e.g. the free, online “Prevent It” training or a Taboo Topic Coffee talk. And I’ll consider the effects of porn on the minds of children. This will help me stay alert and effective in prevention.
To achieve this badge, complete the “Prevent It: Taking Action to S.T.O.P. Child Sexual Abuse” or sign-up for a Taboo Topic Talk.
Action
Practical things you can do to make a difference!
1. Ask questions at youth-serving organisations, eg. schools, scouts, (sports)clubs, etc.
-How do you screen employees and volunteers?
-What written protocols do you have regarding contact with children, and action in case anything goes wrong?
-What training do employees AND volunteers receive regarding sexual abuse prevention or signaling?
You Are The Example
Model the right behavior & use teachable moments (moments that present themselves in regular life) to help empower kids.
For example,
-Point out that the door is open because a child/youth shouldn’t be alone in room with adult.
-Point out a child/youth has body boundaries no one should cross without their permission (including showing/taking images of).
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-Teach your kids the proper names for their body parts.
-Empower a child that they can say No to any form of contact, including if asked by a relative or family friend.
Some cultures/tradition force children to give e.g. kiss or hug to a relative out of respect. But imagine what this teaches a child if this relative is abusing them?
Do Something Awesome Today.
Other things you can do to create the culture of child protection our world needs to badly.
Listen
Take time to really listen to youth. What are they are talking about, busy with. Actively listen when your kids speak to you. Put your phone away! Ask open-ended questions (what/how/why.. not yes/no) and listen to their responses. Take notes if needed.
Become a good listener.
What training, workshop or online videos have you followed to help?
Send a message so we can maybe feature on the Resources page!
Intake
Consider the places your child/youth goes.
Have you checked their protocols?
How is the actual design of the buildings? Are there windows in rooms so anyone walking past can see inside?
What are the practices and culture at these places, e.g. are parents allowed or encouraged to stay/be on-site (with social-distancing of course in times of Corona)?
Do these places have a culture of child safety?
Consider every person your children have contact with, e.g. teachers, (sports) club leaders, instructors, family, family friends, neighbors, afterschool care, etc…
Does your child have any one-on-one contact? If so, why? Is it necessary?
95% of CSA cases come from persons known to the child, in positions of power and trust.
Check these ways to help increase safety of such meetings. This topic is also covered in the in-person/online Prevent It Workshop.
Screening
If you work with an organisaiton that supports or works with children, check these screening measures:
-Does our vacancy say we take all forms of abuse seriously and list the expectation that applicants will review/sign related protocols?
-Do we screen beyond a police background check /VOG? (fact: +95% of CSA cases never reported)
-Do we do at least 2 reference checks of both employees and volunteers?
-Do we review the CV’s and call relevant contacts for impressions or why a person left an organisation?
-Do we employ the 3D or STARR method in our interviews with candidates?
-Do we apply the same standard of screening to both paid and non-paid employees/volunteers?
-Do we train employees and volunteers on (CSA) Prevention?
Talk
Part of the problem with this type of abuse is not enough people are talking about it, and shame and fear help keep children/youth from telling if something happened. Talk about these topics in your circles of friends. Consider hosting a Taboo Talks Coffee Talk, or a group “Prevent It” workshop. What ideas do you have?