For anyone who’s taken the “Prevent It: Taking Action to S.T.O.P. Sexual Child Abuse / Action Ondernemen om Seksueel Kindermisbruik te Voorkomen” workshop, the myth busting section is always an eye opener. When it comes to the long held belief that kids lie about abuse, it is well researched that in over 95% of cases where the children or youth have disclosed, it is ultimately proven to be true. But not everyone has taken the workshop or seen the stats.
In yet another case that glares as a failing of both the Justice System, and our collective Social and “Professional” handling of the far-more-common-than-anyone-wants-to-believe situation of child sexual abuse*, a man was today acquitted on account of his lawyer questioning the testimony of the two young boys who came forward about incidents at a public pool. The defendants lawyer also called into question the foster mother of the boys who received the initial disclosure, and the multiple formal settings the testimonies were retold in, including with a court-appointed psychologist.
‘The sad truth is it’s far more likely to be going on and we don’t know about it– ‘ (so when something does come out, you have to take it seriously).
-Clinical Psychologist / Spiral Phoenix Trauma Institute
To someone trained more specifically on child sexual abuse, a small line in the filing suggests the boys may have a small developmental disorder. Any developmental of physical disabilities makes children and youth particularly vulnerable as targets. Such children, beyond children as a whole, are even less likely to be believed if they ever tell.
It might appear the defendant expressly targeted these children. ????
It’s a sad day for the community, the justice system, and above all the boys and their foster family.
Those boys showed INCREDIBLE courage and strength in coming forward, their foster family as well, and it’s a diabolical rift in the system that the initial disclosure, which is huge in itself, was attacked purely because it was given to a trusted (foster)family member, rather than strangers/professionals.
The system is broken.
I wonder if the police even checked the computer or phone of the accused for inappropriate images or straight up child pornography?
But take some heart. There’s lots we can do to help stem these things from falling through the cracks. The first and most important is to TALK about these issues and untaboo them. You can also:
- Take the free “Prevent It” Workshop (in-person or online)
- Start talking to your children about inappropriate images, body boundaries and age-appropriate discussion of abuse before you think you need to. (If you wait till they’re “old enough,” you’re too late)
- Let children and youth know, even if nothing ever happened, that if anything happens it’s not their fault and to tell you.
There are books you can buy, and sometimes find in the library to help breach the topic. Or simply articles like these which highlight the real life relevance.
Anything can be used as a teachable moment/leermoment. You have more power than you think.
Here’s a link to the acquittal article via rechspraak.nl that sparked this post. Be encouraged, get informed, believe and support kids.????
*child sexual abuse includes four categories that range from exposing a child to sexually tinted images, to inappropriate touching, touching of the sexual organs, and finally any form of penetration.
Want to know more, take a live workshop, organize a training, or taboo coffee talk for you, your team or fellow parents? Get in touch! There’s so much more that we can do than we think! It starts with you. ????
